Unhappy bride

I am a former recipient of bridal magazines. I have a wild imagination. Put that winning combination together and you get funny stories for the most important time in a bride's life.
Despite her great efforts, no amount of tugging would lengthen the skirt.  

Despite her great efforts, no amount of tugging would lengthen the skirt.  

When the groom’s family mentioned that they wanted to smuggle Sarah into the ceremony, she didn’t think it meant covering her head in a burlap sack. 

When the groom’s family mentioned that they wanted to smuggle Sarah into the ceremony, she didn’t think it meant covering her head in a burlap sack. 

Jenny happily strutted down the runway when she realized that she finally found a dress that could go from the chapel to the club.

Jenny happily strutted down the runway when she realized that she finally found a dress that could go from the chapel to the club.

April walked away from everyone when she was informed that she would have to clean up all of the flower petals.

April walked away from everyone when she was informed that she would have to clean up all of the flower petals.

Dana hoped the feather fascinator would distract from the lopsidedness of her wedding dress.

Dana hoped the feather fascinator would distract from the lopsidedness of her wedding dress.

If Katie had to hear another Flo Rida song during the pre-wedding photo shoot she would strangle someone.  

If Katie had to hear another Flo Rida song during the pre-wedding photo shoot she would strangle someone.  

Gwen didn’t realize that being a zombie started at the waist and moved up.  

Gwen didn’t realize that being a zombie started at the waist and moved up.  

It was her 10th marriage, and she had harnessed enough power from her nine late husbands for world domination.

It was her 10th marriage, and she had harnessed enough power from her nine late husbands for world domination.

Dana snapped her fingers until she got a hand cramp, but it was no use the flower girl refused to be her human slave for the day.

Dana snapped her fingers until she got a hand cramp, but it was no use the flower girl refused to be her human slave for the day.

Hillary had been wearing SPF 90 since the engagement, but she would never achieve the level of whiteness she aspired to have.

Hillary had been wearing SPF 90 since the engagement, but she would never achieve the level of whiteness she aspired to have.